Mr Popo and Friezas Magical Adventure!
by saucemonkey
Summary: Frieza shows up on the lookout one day in search of Mr. Popo, and the two  almost  start a magical adventure! Rated M for language.


**Chapter 1: Piccolo Takes a Nap**

It was morning, the dew had been sprinkled on the plants and all was well on Kami's lookout. The air was fresh and crisp, and a certain melody seemed to exude from the sheer beauty of the garden. Mr. Popo was out tending to his pride and joy, although he probably didn't need to anyway, however the genie wished to maintain the completely breathtaking image of his beautiful flowers. Today was quite like every other, and Kami was inside, doing Kami things, honestly at a time like this Mr. Popo couldn't give two shits about what Kami was doing.

"Ahh, the fresh air, the beautiful flowers, the shining sun, and Frieza. Today is a perfectly wond…." Mr. Popo seemed to retrace his word's to find that he was staring at the extremely powerful tyrant, Frieza.

'Holy shit!' Mr. Popo screamed in his mind. 'What the fuck is that guy doing here?'

"Why hello Mr. TheOnlyBlackGuyInDragonBallZ." Frieza greeted with a grin. "My name is Frieza, and I am here to inspect this lookout." Frieza looked quite calm, and didn't seem to want to attack, but Mr. Popo was still scared shitless.

"H-hello." The genie greeted back shyly.

"Oh no need to be frightened, I come as a friend. Here's a watermelon." Frieza lifted up a giant green melon that he seemed to magically pull out of his ass and handed it to Mr. Popo, whose eyes flickered with rage.

"I am not a BLACK GUY you stupid gay grandma chicken shit lizard fuck!" Mr. Popo screamed at Frieza, whenever anyone made a racist remark, Mr. Popo just snapped. Frieza looked at the genie with wide eyes and didn't know what to say for a while, but after he regained composure, he decided to cut his losses.

"Fine, out of the goodness in my heart I give you a watermelon and you turn it into a black joke, then you insult me… I'm hurt Mr. Popo, I thought we could be friends." Frieza turned around and started to imitate crying, but Mr. Popo knew better than to just say 'I'm sorry, lets go get us some mother fuckin' ice cream cones!'

"Mr. Popo, what the hell are you doing here?" Kami, who had just emerged from his home, yelled in a raspy voice. The genie rolled his eyes.

'I work here you senile old prick.' Was something Mr. Popo wished he could just say, but instead what came out was; "I'm watering the flowers and talking to Frieza."

"Frieza? Holy ass crackers! Isn't he the one who has sex with all of the sailor moon girls?" Kami yelled, looking at a wall. Frieza looked at the old Namek with a gaze that shouted 'What the fuck is wrong with this guy.'

"Kami, you've been looking up too much hentai again haven't you?" Mr. Popo asked, face palming.

"I can quit any time I want you black genie fuck!"

"Yes Kami, now can you just let us talk now? Me and Frieza were having a conversation before you went out here." Mr. Popo told the old senile green man. Still staring at a wall, Kami replied;

"Ahh whatever, I was going to watch some more bleach anyway." Kami walked into the same wall he was staring at, and then he finally found the area back into his house... Thing… or whatever the hell it was. Seriously, he lives there right? But do Namek's even sleep? And for that matter, why does Mr. Popo live there too? Are they gay for each other or something? Ahh forget it.

"Good, now I can discuss business."Frieza said, still looking confused.

"I thought you came to inspect the lookout?"Mr. Popo asked, Frieza laughed.

"I didn't say that, shut your mouth. Now, as I was saying…"

"Yes you did you little bastard! I heard you say that!"

"Prove it Mr. GenieWhoCan'GrantWishes."

"Fine, I will!" Mr. Popo proceeded to whip out of his pants (giggity) a tape recorder, which he promptly rewound and played for Frieza's enjoyment.

'My name is Frieza, and I am here to inspect this lookout.' Mr. Popo stopped the recorder and Frieza looked with shock.

"You made that up! Who the fuck just carries around a live tape recorder?" He yelled at the genie, who smirked smugly.

"I do, you never know when it might come in handy."

"Well it doesn't matter anyway, I need to tell you something important."

"What? Like how you got out of hell in the first place? Seriously, how did you do it?"

"That doesn't matter damn it! Just listen to me." Mr. Popo stood there in silence. "ooook… I'm going to guess that means you're ready to listen."

"No, that means I stopped giving a fuck and tuned you out with my built in head I pod." Frieza looked confused once again.

"What the hell is an I pod?"

"It's about 50 dollars." Total silence.

"Was that a joke?"

"No I believe that was me being a smart ass." Mr. Popo then began a rather dry and monotone laugh.

"Ok well whatever, point is I need your help." Mr. Popo was taken aback.

"What? Am I actually going to serve some kind of purpose now?"

"Not really." Mr. Popo's expression changed from a feeling of happiness, to a deeply depressed one. "Stop being so retarded Popo, at least you get to do something, sheesh." Once Mr. Popo realized that, indeed, he DID get to do something, he cheered up a bit.

"Well what do you want then?"

"I need you to…" Frieza paused for what seemed to be a dramatic pause, but turned out he just had to fart.

"Aww! That is so fucking gross Frieza!" Mr. Popo covered his face.

"Shut up, you don't even have a nose you mutant freak."

"Look who's talking lizard boy!"

"Fat fuck!"

"Gay Grandma!"

"Black asshole!"

"Hey Frieza, where the FUCK IS YOUR DADDY? Oh yeah, he died like a bitch! Just like you!" Mr. Popo had gone too far, and Frieza started to suck his thumb and lie down in the fetal position. The genie had enough of this and decided to go back inside and kick Kami off the computer, leaving Frieza crying and lying on the ground.

**Well there ya go, it was either funny or a giant pile of crap. You decide by telling me in the reviews, oh, and I'm gonna keep writing this fic too, unless I get some major negative feedback.**


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